Valentines Day

It's Matt ...

I know this blog is read by a lot of really caring people. Who have adopted our family, taken us into your homes, into your prayers and have done more for us than we could ever have asked for... But I wanted to write a post for my kids. Since we will make this into a book for them to read as the years go by..

Kids,

Today is Valentines Day,

A Day we are told to remember the ones we love and show them how much they mean to us. Funny how we try to do that all in one day, I mean come on.... Trees, dead presidents and flags get their own day too.

For the previous 12 Valentines Days I have asked your mom what she wanted and it has ranged from simple things like flowers, to jewelry and every electronic gadget under the sun. This year I haven't had to ask her what she wants because I already know.

She wants to be whole again. She doesn't want an ostomy bag attached to her abdomen anymore. She doesn't want to be sick from Chemo and make you guys miss out on any part of your childhood. She wants to feel normal again and not be known as "cancer girl" anymore. But most of all she wants 15 more years to be my wife and your mother.

I have heard her pray for that. To be here 15 more years, at least, to raise you, see you become the freaking awesome adults you will undoubtedly become. It pains her heart to think of anything short of that.

At a time in her life when she has every right to be selfish, depressed, and let everything else in her life slide, she cares only for us. You haven't seen most of the bad that has transpired, and that is because she refused to let you. She did not want you to cry for her. She didn't want you to worry for her. She didn't want you lose your childhood. . . . . So she gets herself ready everyday. She hides the scars and the bag from you. She gets up when the medicine she is on knocks her off her feet. Why does she do it?

She loves . . . . everyday she loves.

So what can we get her for Valentines Day?

The same thing she has given us.

Showing her you truly love her and that she is special to us can't be done in one single day. You can't wrap it up in a pretty little bag, add calories, floral scents and call it love. You have to live it everyday.

Throughout this experience I've learned that loving someone hurts. It makes your heart ache when they are suffering. It takes your breath away when see them stumble. And it keeps you up at night when the thought of losing them becomes more than you can bare.

None of us know the future. We don't have an expiration date printed on the bottom of our feet. So lets not take it for granted. Lets give each other the best we have every day. The greatest gift we can give, is all the best we have. We won't hide it away, store it up for that one special occasion. We will give it freely, often and without expectation.

I love your mother. She is my best friend. You know it, I know it and she knows it. Because I tell her everyday. She is my inspiration. She gives me hope. She forgives my imperfections, and lifts my soul. And all I can do is be everything she needs. I'll be her cheerleader, her shoulder to cry on, her friend to laugh with, and a husband who would do anything for her. And you guys can do the same. Forgive her if she falters, find ways to lighten her burden, and love her no matter the cost.

Ethan, Kate, Wyatt and Griffin.

A True love story isn't written with "happily ever after". It is two people, imperfect by nature, refusing to give up on each other.

Happy Valentines Day Ashley...... you are amazing !