Surgeon visit + Oncologist visit

My favorite part about meeting with my surgeon yesterday was when he said,

"I'm hoping in 5 years from now that you will look back on this and say 'Phew! That was really scary!"

My least favorite part was when he said "I think this is curable."

I wanted him to say - "You got this girl. You are going to beat this and you're going to be fine and we are all gonna laugh at this one day."

I know he probably can't say it but I really wanted that Grey's Anatomy moment when your surgeon is super reassuring and confident and makes all the fear go away.

One positive piece of news, although the tumor is quite large, my doctor actually thinks it is a T3 rather than T4 sized tumor. The reason for this is because it is still maneuverable where a T4 tumor is firmly set in place. This tiny little ray of hope has just made all the difference in the last two days.

My surgeon is old school and does not do laproscopic surgeries. Apparently that is a possibility and I would very much prefer to do the surgery laproscopically rather than have a 4 inch vertical scar across my abdomen. This is not just for physical appearance but also because I think the recovery will be easier and it's less likely to get infected.

Ok, let's be honest. I have had 3 pregnancies, 4 kids, and no c-sections. I REALLY don't want to get all cut open at this point. I thought I was in the clear! Haha. It's all about the vanity!

I met with my oncologist today.

I really like MD Anderson. It is interesting to me to know that everyone there has cancer too. Interesting and depressing and heartbreaking but also kind of like, hey, we are all on the same team here! Let's kick cancer's butt together!

We met with a financial specialist and I discovered we have fantastic insurance. Yay for that! It will still be pretty expensive but I think we can swing it. That has been a big stress, worrying about the financial side of this whole thing, so today was quite a relief.

My least favorite part about meeting with my oncologist was when he gave me a hard time about worrying about the surgical scar. Apparently he thinks it is WAY more important for the cancer to be eradicated, blah blah blah. Well, DUH DUDE! Of course that is way more important! You can cut up my body however you want to if it means the cancer is gone and I will deal but if I opt to do laproscopic surgery, I have to find a new surgeon. It's something I've gotta figure out at some point. {eye roll}

So from the surgical and oncologist perspective the plan is 6 weeks of radiation and chemo followed by a little break, approximately 3-6 weeks long. The reason for this is because the radiation will continue to shrink the tumor for up to 3 months after treatment ends. I will take the chemo drug in pill form every day that I have radiation. I will have radiation Monday - Friday, every day, for 6 weeks. I thought I would have 'rounds' of chemo but that is not the case. I will not lose my hair (YAY!!!) and the most likely side effects of chemo are fatigue, nausea, and something where your hands and feet get red, sore and swollen. That was an unfortunate bit of news since I use my hands to work (I do eyelash extensions) and I don't know how that is all going to work out. I have already had to let go of most of my clients and it has just been heart wrenching.

After the little break, I will have surgery to remove the tumor. I will be in the hospital for a week recovering and then sent home where I have to take it pretty easy for a month or so. 6 weeks post surgery I will have 4.5 months of chemo to kill any remaining cancer cells.

I'll have a gajillion scans and everything to check on my progress all along the way.

I will go to a genetic counselor since I am so dang young and they will see if I am predisposed to cancer. I have to be careful because I am much more likely to get breast cancer now that I have had rectal cancer.

I will have a blood test (to check for cancer markers in my blood), a PET scan and an MRI on Friday.

I meet with my radiation oncologist tomorrow and we will come up with a specific plan as to when the party is getting started. Apparently it takes 10 business days to get the insurance to approve everything and everything to get set up so we are looking at the last week of June, first week of Julyish. I told my doctor I'd get started today if they would let me and he thought that was hilarious. Apparently the 4 weeks or so that it will likely take to get this all sorted out won't make much of a difference at this point.

Oh, and he confirmed that I am stage 3. Which is fine. I'll take it. WAY better than stage 4 (take my word for it. I made the mistake of looking up survivability rates for rectal cancer. Scary stuff. Don't look. Trust me!)

I'll update tomorrow after I learn all about radiation. I'm not very educated about radiation and the little I know about, I'm not too excited so we'll see how it all shakes out.

Oh, and people keep asking us how we are doing. We are doing really well actually. We both had some sleepless nights and days where we couldn't quite find the desire to eat anything and we were in a bit of a haze-like state but we are over that and looking forward to getting this all started. The sooner we start, the sooner it will be over. And then this will just be something we look back on and think "Wow! That was pretty scary!"